Coping with Death ~ A Psychic Medium Perspective

The first time I came face to face with Death, and had to cope with the wisdom imparted, was when I was about 6 years old living in a relatively new home in a small town in New Jersey. Across the street lived my “aunt and uncle”, great friends of my mom who were honorary members of our family. They had 6 chilren together and in our family (a mix of two marriages) there were 11 children and we all played together.

Ballet Dancer Training School Concept
Ballet Dancer Training School Concept

In my basement was every little girl’s dream –  a dance school complete with mirrors and bars on the walls for practicing pleas as my mother had rented it to Gina who was opening her first school.

Coping with Death ~ Lesson 1

Some spirits get lost on the way to heaven…

In the kitchen was the old man… he reminded me of a “salty sea captain” something like the Gordons Fisherman minus the yellow rain gear. He would sit hunched at the kitchen table a being without a body who came in the still of the night.  I would see him and I would know he had been a hard drinker, that he had sat in that kitchen and drank regularly.

I told my mom about the night time visitor and my mom invesitgated because she and my brother had both had “experiences”.

For my mom there had been the rolling of plates off the top shelf of the cabinets. For my brother there was the eary feeling he would get when he slept in the back bedroom. So he switched to one of the spare rooms in the basement.

My mothers research revealed a death in our home prior to our moving there.

My mom explained that when we died we shed our human body, ascend to heaven, rest and recoup, and then plan our next incarnation.

It made sense to me, especially since I had conscious memories stretching back to the day before I was born … I had pre birth experiences (PBE).

He didn’t scare me and death was a cycle… but somehow this man had gotten stuck… he hadn’t ascended to heaven and he didn’t really “talk” in anyway that I could hear…. and to be honest, I don’t remember ever asking him any questions as we kinda just sat in silence.

Coping with Death ~ Lesson 2

Near Death Experiences Awaken New Abilities

The Muddy Mississippi River
The Muddy Mississippi River

It wasn’t until I was 10 or 11 that I became clairaudiant and that was another time I danced with death.

This time I was with one of my best friends Christine Beckenbach, her brothers John and David, and their friend Carl. We were on a camping trip with their mom and having the time of our lives. We marched up mountonous terrain and singing Pink Floyds’ “Another Brick in the Wall” till we got to the top. Then the boys jumped 30 feet into the crystal clear quary below picking up bolders trying to see who could stay under water longest…

Later we made it to the rope that swung long into the water and into a part of the muddy Mississippi River. When it was my turn to grab the rope I did so and swung wide out into the water in excitement. Into the water I went, dragging bottom as my hands slid down the rope. Kicking, I tried to propel myself upwards to the top of the water but my foot was stuck in the rope and the rope was stuck on a log. I began to panic until I heard the voices of my spirit guides say “scream for the Angels… but don’t open your mouth”. Oh Boy did I scream! I dang near busted my eardrums!

On the bank moving away from the river was David and his friends. They were heading back but he was suddenly stopped by an instant knowing that caused him to turn around. He KNEW that if he didn’t jump in I would drown.

He followed the voice and became in that moment a Human Angel answering my call for help. He jumped in, untangled my foot, saved my life, was written up in the papers, and given an award by the Masons. He was my hero and still is today.

I learned about Death then. About how close I had come. And I learned that when it isn’t our time, they will find a way to save us.

I also learned about insanity. I really thought I had busted my eardrums.

Every night I would go to bed and I would hear all these different voices. They were high picted voices and constant chatter.

I tried all types of ways to sleep moving from room to room in the house, carrying my blanket, and seeking solace. We (my mom and I) didn’t exactly know what was going on. I verged on insanity.

Finally I was guided to treat it like a radio, to make a dial and to tune in and tune out.

I learned to tune-in and tune-out at will.

I learned I had now the gift of clairaudiance.

Open grave
Open grave

Coping with Death ~ Lesson 3

Appreciating the Gifts of our Relationships

The next time that I experienced death was at 19,  when my grandmother died at the age of 89. She was born in 1900 on the boat over from Germany and gave birth to 9 children. The family was a mess… and that started long before her death. When she passed the family was eaten up by dislike for her and her upbringing and the tortue she had put them through. They carried wounds that I wont drag up but for me… well, she was grandma and it was to her house that I would go one magical summer and really get to know this woman who cooked for an army with real butter, was a little crazy (she stored canned goods under her bed, a throw back to living through the depression), was a little frugal (you were only allowed to use one piece of toilet paper – she counted them out each day, painstakingly pulling them off the role and counting them out), she loved God and we went to church frequently. She scared the beejesus out of me though. She spoke in tongues and I had NO IDEA what that was like when I was 7. I just thought she had had a seizure or something.

We were standing in this big old church made of grey brick and Edwardian Style. Inside the large room with rows upon rows of pews stood a circle of women to which my grandmom was a part of. They were singing and then suddenly the spirit took my grandmother and suddenly she was speaking in tongues and rolling on the floor. I really thought she was dieing. I didn’t realize then that Grandmom was a channel and she had passed the gift onto me. Later, by the time she died I knew. She was special to me in ways her own children didn’t understand.

After she came back to herself, we went to the grocery store with her little pull behind cart (grandmom didn’t drive) and then as we walked home she talked to me about channeling the spirit of God and allowing the Holy Spirit to roll through you. She talked about being possessed by spirit and the enlightenment one receives in complete surrender.

On the day of her funeral I was the only one to attend. I put a notice in the Baltimore Sun and I snuck down to her funeral, hanging back to see if my uncle the pedlifier was there. He wasn’t. He had her money. He didn’t want anything else. I and the gravediggers were the only ones there on that day. I laid a red rose on her grave and said my goodbyes knowing she would be in Gods hands eternally.

Coping with Death ~ Lesson 4

The Deceased can bring us Gifts


One of my favorite shows growing up was Sanford and Sons and I just loved Redd Foxx. One night his spirit came to me and I knew he was going to die. That night I held spiritual vigil for him and heard the news later of his passing. The following morning, ruby red jewelry showed up on my dresser and neither my mom or I knew how it had gotten into our home. I later came to realize some spirits manifest gifts for those who help them to pass.

Coping with Death ~ Lesson 5

Jesus Is Real

Jesus Christ

Jesus ChristThe next death was the loss of my beloved mother. Her story deserves its own chapter and I am not sure how to really condense it. The story of my moms passing started 18 months before its evenutality. Suffering with MS for over 10 years my mom was dealt the news that she had stage 4 colon cancer with a life expectancy of months. On the day of her admittance she asked that I take her home because if she didn’t leave now she would never leave.

She got back her wheelchair and went to her apartment. Within a month I had moved her into my home. A fall resulted in which I ended up on the floor for a week because I couldn’t move due to herniated disks and my mother was moved to a nursing home. In that month we had discovered the miracel of bee venom therapy and we tried many holistic methods to stop the growth of the cancer. In the nursing home we couldn’t do the bee venom treatments so we moved to traditional surgeries and chemo therapy. They removed her colon and I got a call from the hospital to rush in as mom was pulling out her tubes.

I rushed to her side with two cards, one from a sister who had passed and one from a sister that was living.

“Look” I said, “You have two choices you can pull your tubes out and join aunt madaline or you can keep them in and see aunt helen marie again” I paused and said what was hardest but was the truth “I will support you which ever way you want to go but you gotta know what is gonna happen”.

Mom settled down looked at my husband and I. She asked if he really loved me. He said yes.

Somehow this mattered because a moment later she said, “I’ll keep the tubes in”.

She chose to live and the months became a year and I made trips twice a day to her nursing home staying for bits of time to check in and then rush back to my family living my own terror at witnessing cancer spread and ms continue to cripple my mom.

18 months later she had a surgery without anethesia and survived. As she healed she looked at me as I suctioned her she looked at me and said “No more Bonnie Jean. I don’t want to be suctioned anymore, I don’t want to be fed any more and I don’t want anything to drink. I am ready.”

I will never forget the short walk to the nurses station that felt long and the cotton in my mouth as I conveyed my mothers last wish. They consuled me with a knowing compassion for the 12 months she had been with them. They informed me she would get about 3 days and to go a head an get ready. I said my goodbyes, pulled out of the parking lot as I dialed my husband to give him the news.

I returned that night with the two cards; one from Aunt Madaline (deceased) and one from Aunt Helen Marie (living). I placed them on her stand by the bed, fluffed up a stuffed animal from my step daughter Renee and made my way back home.

Each day I came and went and I watched her motionless body and heard her death rattle.

On the last day I came and kneeled at the mat beside her bed and held her hand.

I was tired.

She was tired.

I reached out to Jesus and began to pray that he guide her home.

Through the walls he reached for her, his magnificence bright and inviting.

My mother sat up, squeezed my hand, gasped and laid back down. She didn’t die in that moment.

It was several hours later that she was pronounced dead.

I was in a state of shock. The man to whom I had prayed had come for his sister.

The woman who raised me to believe in the man to whom I had just prayed was real.

Real like the old sea captain and real like my grandmom.

Jesus is real and he guides souls home.

Another awakening that strengthened my faith not only in the here and now but in the ever-after.

In mediumship readings I get the pleasure of communing with the dealy departed.

Sometimes they have been victims of foul play and they have shared with me their physical pain.

Sometimes they have been saints who grace the readee as a guardian angel and protect them.

I have seen tragic and peaceful passings.

I have seen those who work in medical facilties such as hospitals, nursing homes, and mental institutions surrounded by and drained by those lost souls who do not cross into the light. If you work in any of those types of facilities I am going to suggest you take the 45 Day Sage Challenge and move them into the Light.

Coping with Death ~ Lesson 6

Alternate Dimensions are Real and We exist in more than one place at one time.

Alternate Realities
Alternate Realities

The next time I experienced death was a strange experience even for me. I have had all kinds of dreams… many of them precognitive dreams.

One Saturday evening in 2015, I dreamed of a business associate, whom I had known for five years, passing away. In all honesty, in my dream this 70 year old man was climbing over a wall and was shot on his descent.

On Monday, during our regular conference call I took time aside to ask if he was okay… He explained he had been robbed… his business bank account had been robbed of 90,000.

I sighed, as much as I had a contentious relationship in which I trusted him only as far as I can throw him, I didn’t want to see him die. After sighing, I spoke with candidness and said, that was better than dieing and I was relieved my dream hadn’t been true… and then I gave him details of his death as it had played out and we concluded it must have been figurative and the robbing was symbolic for financial death.

On Wednesday evening, while broadcasting a live production of The Empowerment Zone it was time for the closing credits and there was dead air and silence. We closed the show, my co-host and I, and then I tried to call him, worried.

I couldn’t get a hold of Wednesday, Thursday, or Friday.

On Saturday I started calling hospitals in the state he lived in only to find that he had been in one but had just been transfered to another hospital that day.

That night I had another dream about him, and this time I connected into an alternate lifetime in which two beings existed in one body, I worked for the Federation, and in my dream we were to hunt him down. In my dream my partner and I found him and shot him that night.

I woke Sunday startled. Another dream.

On Monday I received a call from his wife (strange he had told me his wife had died).

She explained he had suffered an annurism on Wednesday and died early Sunday morning.

I asked how the children were doing and she told me she had never given birth (strange he had told me he had three sons).

As the conversation progressed I was mortified, shocked, and a bit miffed.

As I said earlier, I only trusted this man as far as I could throw him… and now that he was dead, the stories he told me turned out to be lies and I wondered for a brief sinsiter moment if I should ask about his girlfriend Amy but decided I already knew that too was a lie.

I learned in this instance that we exist in more than one dimension and that we can do things in alternate dimensions which can effect this dimension.

He told me one interesting thing about death that I will share, not because I believe in it but because I have heard others speak of it.

According to him, one should not go to the light when they die rather they should go to the center of the earth and exit the earth plane. He believed that if one goes to the light one keeps reincarnating onto the earth plane.

Take that for what it is worth.

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